I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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