just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
