Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
