Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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