so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
