We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize