Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
