Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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