it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
FUCK WHALES
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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