so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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