Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Its about making memories worth repressing
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Randomize
