I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
