Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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