we made out on top of his cat.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize