just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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