I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
