its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
