The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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