The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize