don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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