That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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