love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
