Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize