why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
