i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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