So gin and wine won't be happening again
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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