Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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