He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
