dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
as a side note pls kill me
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize