Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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