I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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