I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
