Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
