Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
