Grow some girl-balls and come out already
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
