i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
