trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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