FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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