He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
