i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
