it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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