I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you will always have a special place in my vag
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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