just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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