I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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