Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
