did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She told me I should be a condom model.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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