this beer tastes like vomit already
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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