So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
