Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
