Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
