He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
