Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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