We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
