Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
