Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
