ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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