I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
