new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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