Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
