So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
we're so committed to being not committed
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