are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
