i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
