youre lurking in front of me
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize