I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
