Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
