There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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