last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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