Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Shame is for Republicans.
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