I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
