she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
