It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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