at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
its liver damage thursday
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