I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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