Plan B is the new Plan A
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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