Your face is a jimmy john
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
